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Advice To: Reindeer?
By Taryn Gifford

This issue of the Warrior, as you may have noticed, is all about Christmas. Included in this issue are stories based on the meaning of Christmas, Christmas presents, Santa, Christmas plays, and everything else that has to do with the cheeriest, brightest holiday of the year. In keeping with the theme, this month’s advice column is a little bit different than the rest; you read it right, it’s a list to Reindeer.

1.When in flight, watch out for those big silver birds. They won’t move out of your way.

2. It’s a long flight! Use the restroom before you leave the North Pole.

3. Rudolph, keep your nose bright and red, but not so bright as to effect flight patterns on Christmas night.

4. Please fly responsibly. A reindeer that has been drinking too much eggnog is likely to miscalculate while landing on a roof and end up inside the house.

5. Christmas Eve comes once a year, and you need to take your training seriously. An unfit reindeer might struggle with the whole getting off the ground part of flying, and consequently, drag the whole team down. This is a team effort guys, you can consume all the Christmas cookies you want after gift delivery.

6. The cookies left out by children on Christmas Eve are for Santa…you guys get the healthy stuff (i.e. carrots, celery). Please do not be swayed by Santa’s over-indulgence, as it’s part of his gig.

7. Don’t forget to groom your hooves before the big night, as you will be walking on roofs and can’t make too much racket.

8. Keep your antlers healthy, but at a modest length, for if they are too long it could cause breakage, and no one likes a defective reindeer.

9. Try not to wander off while waiting on the roof, because it’s not a small world after all. Not only are reindeer difficult to find, but they are also a target for reindeer poachers, especially in remote countries.

10. Rest up…Christmas Eve is a long night, and be sure to wear sweaters and long underwear, because it gets cold, especially in Iceland and Alaska.